Who would have noticed another madman round here?

Edmund: (hangs up the phone, turns) Captain Darling...

Darling: Captain Blackadder.

Edmund: Here to join us for the last waltz?

Darling: (nervous) Erm, yes -- tired of folding the general's pyjamas.

George: Well, this is splendid, comradely news! Together, we'll fight for king and country, and be sucking sausages in Berlin by teatime.

Edmund: Yes, I hope their cafes are well stocked; everyone seems determined to eat out the moment they arrive.

George: No, really, this is brave, splendid and noble! Sir?

Edmund: Yes, Lieutenant?

George: I'm scared, sir.

Baldrick: I'm scared too, sir.

George: I mean, I'm the last of the tiddlywinking leapfroggers from the Golden Summer of 1914. I don't want to die. I'm really not overkeen on dying at all, sir.

Edmund: How are you feeling, Darling?

Darling: Erm, not all that good, Blackadder -- rather hoped I'd get through the whole show; go back to work at Pratt & Sons; keep wicket for the Croydon gentlemen; marry Doris... Made a note in my diary on my way here. Simply says, "Bugger."

Edmund: Well, quite.

(a voice outside gives orders)

Edmund: Ah well, come on. Let's move.

Voice: Fix bayonets!

(They start to go outside)

Edmund: Don't forget your stick, Lieutenant.

George: Oh no, sir -- wouldn't want to face a machine gun without this!

(outside, they all line up as the shelling stops)

Darling: Listen! Our guns have stopped.

George: You don't think...?

Baldrick: Maybe the war's over. Maybe it's peace!

George: Well, hurrah! The big knobs have gone round the table and yanked the iron out of the fire!

Darling: Thank God! We lived through it! The Great War: 1914-1917.

George: Hip hip!

All but Edmund: Hurray!

Edmund: (loading his revolver) I'm afraid not. The guns have stopped because we're about to attack. Not even our generals are mad enough to shell their own men. They think it's far more sporting to let the Germans do it.

George: So we are, in fact, going over. This is, as they say, it.

Edmund: I'm afraid so, unless I think of something very quickly.

Voice: Company, one pace forward!

(everyone steps forward)

Baldrick: Ooh, there's a nasty splinter on that ladder, sir! A bloke could hurt himself on that.

Voice: Stand ready!

(everyone puts a foot forward)

Baldrick: I have a plan, sir.

Edmund: Really, Baldrick? A cunning and subtle one?

Baldrick: Yes, sir.

Edmund: As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?

Baldrick: Yes, sir.

Voice: On the signal, company will advance!

Edmund: Well, I'm afraid it'll have to wait. Whatever it was, I'm sure it was better than my plan to get out of this by pretending to be mad. I mean, who would have noticed another madman round here?

(whistle blows)

Edmund: Good luck, everyone. (blows his whistle)

(Everyone yells as they go over the top. German guns fire before they're even off the ladders. The scene changes to slow motion, and explosions happen all around them. [An echoed piano slowly plays the Blackadder theme.] The smoke and flying earth begins to obscure vision as the view changes to the battlefield moments later: empty and silent with barbed wire, guns and bodies strewn across it. [A bass drum beats slowly.] That view in turn changes to the same field as it is today: overgrown with grasses and flowers, peaceful, with chirping birds.)

The End

Can anybody tell me what's wrong with this picture?

Sheila: Hi. Can I help you?
William: I'd like a ham and cheese Whamlette, an order of Wham fries--
Sheila: Sorry, we stopped serving breakfast. We' re on the lunch menu.

He is dissapointed.

William: I want breakfast.
Sheila: We' re not serving it.
William: So you said. Is that the manager?
Sheila: Yeah
William: Could I speak to him, please?
Sheila: Sure. Rick, there's a customer that would like to speak with you.

Rick: (smiling) Yes, sir.
William: I'd like some breakfast.
Rick: We stopped serving breakfast.
William: I know you stopped breakfast, Rick. Sheila told me you stopped...

He is confused

William: Why am I calling you by first names? I don't know you. I call my boss "mister" after years, but I walk in here, a stranger... and I' m calling you Rick and Sheila like we' re in an AA meeting. I don't want to be your buddy, Rick. I just want a little breakfast.
Sheila: You can call me Miss Folsom if you want to.
Rick (abruptly): Sheila! (to William) We stopped serving breakfast at 11:30.

William leaves his bag on the bench. He is starting to get angry.

William: Rick, have you ever heard the expression, "The customer is always right"?
Rick: Yeah.
William: Well, here I am. The customer.

Rick is enjoying this.

Rick: That's not our policy. You have to order something from the lunch menu.
William: I don't want lunch. I want breakfast.
Rick: Yeah, well, hey, I' m really sorry.
William: Yeah, well, hey, I' m really sorry too!

William takes out the machine gun. Everyone's scared.

Customer: He's got a gun!

Screeming occurs.

William: Let's get organized! Calm down! Just calm down, everybody. Sit down over there!

William sees a customer getting up. He is polite.

William: Mister. Where are you going?

Customer points to the door

William: No. You sit down there, and you finish your lunch. Everybody just relax and take it easy. Eat your lunch. Please. You all need your vitamins A, B and--

The gun goes off and shoots the ceiling. People scream. William is scared.

William: Don't! It was an accident!

He tries to calm everyone down.

William: It's the trigger. It's sensitive. It's okay! It's a sensitive trigger. Rick can I have my breakfast please?
Rick: Yes, sir. Sheila?

He is tired.

William: Rick? Miss Folsom? You know what? You were right. I've changed my mind. I' m going to have some lunch. Could I have a double Whammyburger with cheese---You getting this?
Rick: Yes, sir.
William: And an order of Whammy fries and, let's see...a Choco-Wham shake.
Rick: Yes, sir. Sheila, get his order.
William: Rick, could you get it for me, please? I feel comfortable calling you Rick after all we've been through together.

William turn his face to the customers. Some are scared.

Some are intrigued. He speaks with a friendly tone.

William: How you doing? Enjoying your meal?
How about you? Is it good? And you, ma'am? How's the food?

The lady vomits

William: I think we have a critic. I don't think she likes the special sauce.

Nobody laughs. William is dissapointed.

William: That's a joke.

William is served.

William: Now, here we go. Thank you.

William opens the meal box. He looks at the burger.

William: See, this is what I' m talking about.

He points at the picture behind the cashier.

William: Turn around, look at that. See what I mean? It's plump, juicy, three inches thick.

Now... look at this sorry, miserable, squashed thing. Can anybody tell me what's wrong with

this picture? Anybody? Anybody at all.

(Δεν είναι 'φασιστικό' φιλμ το Falling Down. Προειδοποιητικό ήταν. Η Ελλάδα σήμερα είναι γεμάτη τύπους σαν τον απελπισμένο αυτό ήρωα που ενσάρκωσε ιδανικά ο Μαικλ. Αλλά none took notice. Σου λέει (ο απαίδευτος), μη μας πουν και Δεξιούς)

Και ένα υπέροχο trivia που βρήκα στο IMDB:

The cashier at the Whammy Burger, Sheila, is played by Michelle Pfeiffer's younger sister, Dedee. She appeared in the February 2002 issue of Playboy.

Α, και ο Μάικλ Ντάγκλας είναι φανταστικός εδώ.

Thank you for your honesty.

LARRY: Don't move.
I want to remember this moment forever. First time I walked through the door returning from a business trip to be greeted by my wife. I have at this moment become an adult.
Thanks for waiting up you darling, you goddess.

They hug and kiss.

LARRY: I missed you.
ANNA: How 'bout some tea, mmm?
LARRY: Jesus, I'm knackered.
ANNA: Didn't you sleep on the plane?
LARRY: No, because the permed German next to me was snoring like a Messerschmitt. What's the time?
ANNA: Uhh, about midnight.
LARRY: Time, what a trickly little fucker. My head's in two places. My brain actually hurts.
ANNA: Do you want some food?
LARRY: No, I need a bath.
ANNA: I'll run it for you.
LARRY: No, I... I'll have a shower.
ANNA: How was the thing?
LARRY: As dermatological conferences go, it was a riot.
ANNA: How was the hotel?
LARRY: Someone told me that the beautiful people of the paranoid hotel -- the concierge, the bellboys and girls, did you know this? -- they're all whores.
ANNA: Everybody knows that.
LARRY: I didn't.
LARRY: I don't suppose you fancy a friendly poke.
ANNA: I just had a bath.
LARRY: Well, I'll see to myself in the el-decoration bathroom.
ANNA: You chose that bathroom.
LARRY: And every time I wash in it I feel dirty. It's cleaner than I am. It's got attitude. The mirror says, "Who the fuck are you?"
ANNA: You chose it.
LARRY: Doesn't mean I like it. We shouldn't have this.
ANNA: I hear middle class guilt.
LARRY: Working class guilt. Why are you dressed if you just had a bath?

Pause. She's thinking of

a lie.

ANNA: We needed some milk.
LARRY: You okay?
ANNA: Mmm hmm. You?
LARRY: Yeah.
LARRY: The Sultan has returned bearing gifts.
ANNA: Thank you.

They're shoes.

ANNA: They're beautiful.
LARRY: Here's a thing. Alice was at the hotel.
ANNA: What?
LARRY: I saw these arty postcards in the lobby. I bought one to boost your sales. Young woman London. And, I checked for your book in the Museum of Modern Art, and it was there! Someone bought one, this guy with a ridiculous little beard. He was drooling over your photo on the inside cover. He fancies you, the geek. I was so proud of you. You've broken New York.
ANNA: You're wonderful.
LARRY: Don't ever forget it.
ANNA: Why are you dressed?
LARRY: Because I think you might be about to leave me, and I didn't want to be wearing a dressing gown. I slept with someone in New York. A whore. I'm sorry.
ANNA: Why did you tell me?
LARRY: I couldn't lie to you.
ANNA: Why not?
LARRY: Because I love you.
ANNA: It's fine.
LARRY: Really? Why?

He's confused.

LARRY: Something's wrong. Tell me.
LARRY: Are you leaving me?

Anna nods.

LARRY: Because of this? Why?
ANNA: Dan.
LARRY: Cupid? He's our joke.
ANNA: I love him.
LARRY: You're seeing him now?

Anna nods.

LARRY: Since when?
ANNA: Since my opening last year.

Covering her mouth...

ANNA: I'm disgusting.
LARRY: You're phenomenal. You're so clever. Why did you marry me?
ANNA: I stopped seeing him. I wanted us to work.
LARRY: Why did you tell me you wanted children?
ANNA: Because I did.
LARRY: And now you want children with him?
ANNA: Yes... I don't know.
LARRY: But... we're happy. Aren't we.

She glares at him.

LARRY: You're going to go and live with him?
ANNA: You stay here if you want.
LARRY: Oh, look. I don't give a fuck about the spoils. You know, you did this to me the day we met. You let me hang myself for your amusement. Why didn't you just tell me the moment I walked through the door?
ANNA: I was scared.
LARRY: You're a coward, you spoiled bitch.
LARRY: Are you dressed 'cause you thought I might hit you?
LARRY: What do you think I am?
ANNA: I've been hit before.
LARRY: Not by me!
LARRY: Is he a good fuck?
ANNA: Don't do this.
LARRY: Just answer the question. Is he good?
ANNA: Yes.
LARRY: Better than me?
ANNA: Different.
LARRY: Better?
ANNA: Gentler.
LARRY: What does that mean?
ANNA: You know what it means.
LARRY: Tell me.
ANNA: No.
LARRY: I treat you like a whore.
ANNA: Sometimes.
LARRY: Why would that be?
ANNA: I'm sorry you're a...
LARRY: Don't say it. Don't you fucking say "You're too good for me." I am, but don't say it. You're making the mistake of your life. You're leaving me because you believe that you don't deserve happiness, but you do, Anna.
LARRY: Did you have a bath because you had sex with him? So you wouldn't smell of him. So you'd feel less guilty?
LARRY: How do you feel?
ANNA: Guilty.
LARRY: Did you ever love me?
ANNA: Yes.

He starts crying. She embraces him.

LARRY: Did you do it here?
ANNA: No.
LARRY: Why not?
ANNA: Do you wish we did?
LARRY: Just tell me the truth.
ANNA: Yes, we did it here.
LARRY: Where?

Anna points.

ANNA: There.
LARRY: On this. We had our first fuck on this. Did you think of me?
LARRY: When? When did you do it here?
LARRY: Answer the question!
ANNA: This evening.
LARRY: Did you cum?
ANNA: Why are you doing this?
LARRY: 'cause I want to know.

ΑΝΝΑ: Yes I came.

LARRY: How many times?

ANNA: Twice.

LARRY: How?

ANNA: First he went down on me, and then we fucked.
LARRY: Who was where?
ANNA: I was on top, then he fucked me from behind.
LARRY: And that's when you came the second time.
ANNA: Why is the sex so important?
LARRY: Because I'm a fucking caveman!
LARRY: Did you touch yourself while he fucked you?
ANNA: Yes.
LARRY: You wank for him.
ANNA: Sometimes.
LARRY: And he does.
ANNA: We do everything that people who have sex do!
LARRY: You enjoy sucking him off.
ANNA: Yes!
LARRY: You like his cock.
ANNA: I love his cock!
LARRY: You like him cumming in your face.
ANNA: Yes!
LARRY: What does it taste like?
ANNA: IT TASTES LIKE YOU BUT SWEETER!
LARRY: That's the spirit. Thank you. Thank you for your honesty.

Now FUCK OFF and DIE, you FUCKED UP SLAG!